Wish For Betrayal
by Namiya
Summary: A One Shot about the mind of a very distrubed, yet very sad mind in one of the most re-known characters of this anime. R&R, please. Although it's pretty calm with the coarse language, it includes a part of very explicit couple of scenes(sorry -9 readers)


**Wish (f)or Betrayal.**

A deserter; It's always hard to deal with a particular situation when somebody you put your trust into leaves you high & dry. But, just how hard it is for that same person as well? His pain may not be physical, but it's surely psychologically haunting.

Here's a contradicting impression of the thoughts of a solitaire peer that never gave a hint of what's his thoughts were like, aside from revenge. Hope you can enjoy, if such thing can be applied to this one shot. This is inspired in many fics I've seen here, as well as in many songs I've written during my years away from the ones I hold dear the most.

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**A contradiction.**

It's retarded to see how it all gets so complicated. I used to admire him. I can even say that I used to... love him.

But now all I want is to make his heartbeat stop. I want to see his blood in my weaponry, or rather in my hands; he must pay for what he has done. He's a murderer, and I shall become one as well, even if it costs me everything.

I haven't care for anything else since he decided to show-off his abilities on my family... his family as well. Oto-san, Oka-san. Both gone... right in front of my eyes. I wish that, at that very time, there was something, or someone else that would have told me for all of that to be the most ridiculous and unreal dream I've ever had. It's been so long since then. Almost 10 years.

I've gotten stronger, but honestly, I don't know if it's enough. My own body seems to know that is not enough with the current chakra that I can gather. Friends? I'm not really a dependant person. I leave that for the weak. But I once had friends; at least that's what I like to believe.

It doesn't really matter. I'm condemned; even If I'm not the one to fail onto death's grasp, I face a similar fate when this revenge ends. Unless I decide to never return to Leaf Village.

But that is my home, even if I'm the only one of my clan, Konoha IS my home. And, since I still desire to resurrect my own clan, I'm almost obliged to return there.

Ah, well, who would have thought: I still DO care for something, more than I can even think I did. When I look back, I used to think that she was weak-- How she did cared for people. How she aided the people in desperate need of help. Now that I come to think of it, she was stronger than me in many other levels. Maybe I was just too stubborn to face it.

Also, her physical features. Her eyes, green as an emerald; those eyes always showed caring emotions. His hair, that still reminds me of the cherry trees blossoming in the Spring Equinox.

I guess that's an opportunity that passed me by.

Very often, when people is asked about if they regret about something, they say no... most of the times their words are meaningless, hollow, or without a serious, deep thought. But I still wish I was able to say something like that.

It pains. For all the people who had seen their lives crumbled because of my everlasting ambition, I now realize how hard it may be for them. The sensation of regret. But I cannot stop now: It would be unfair, not only for me, but for those whose lives I have destroyed in the process.

_Then, something interrupts his thoughts_.

Somebody is coming. Better take my precautions; I don't want to be discovered just yet. I still feel that there is just so much to accomplish, if not by me, by those I double-crossed, who I really hope they can make up for all things that I've done.

But this much I know:

Someday, with all the strength I achieved, and all the knowledge I earned, I will dig you a deep grave... Uchiha Itachi. For your biggest mistake was to let me live. To live a despaired life; a life that I now wish shouldn't have never been, just as yours.

Hell is not a place filled by despair, just as heaven is not a place that grants eternal happiness; It's just a couple of places you go after you completed your time on earth. For my actions, I don't think there's a shadow of a doubt where I should head after passing away. I just hope this much of an ideal is real.

_The dark depths of a richly grown forest swallow the missing-nin. As rain resumes with a lot more strength and pouring, the nin can't help but to mourn silently after paying attention to his own thoughts._

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My first attempt of a One-shot here at Hope you guys liked it. See you in the shallows of your own-blistered minds(I hope that's not an insult, because, well, we all carry our own ghosts). 


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